Life’s Twists and Shouts

Connor+Gramma 5-10-15

With my wacky & sweet grandson, May 2015

(You thought I was going to say “Twists and Turns”, didn’t you? Just messing with you.)

I want to explain something, and I want to do it in such a way that you’ll understand completely and maybe even empathize a little. I’ve made a change this year, an unplanned and rather unconscious change in a very important area of my life, and I feel surprisingly great. What monumental change could this be, you ask?

I stopped worrying about my books. I stopped stressing over whether or not I was doing enough or the right things to sell books. I stopped mentally flogging myself for being unable to finish my WIP. I stopped obsessing over Amazon reviews and sales figures. I gave myself permission to love my books, love my modest number of fans and to let that be enough.

I feel immensely better. Incredibly better. I no longer feel the need to keep up with all the latest and greatest marketing techniques. No longer feel I’m in a competition with other authors. I’m free! Free of all that struggle and heartache and feelings of defeat.

For those who’ve been on this journey with me, relax. I haven’t completely checked out of the hotel. I will finish The Gypsy in Me. I am in the midst of contracting new covers for the first two books in that series, which I will unveil and release when Gypsy is ready to come out. I’ll make it a 3 book box set. But I won’t push myself to the point where it hurts to think about it. I don’t need deadlines or any other “shoulda-coulda-woulda’s” that steal all the joy out of writing. Don’t need it.

There will likely be another lighthouse book, too, when I have a good enough idea to set in motion. Perhaps, by releasing myself from all these imagined obligations, I’ll have a mind free enough to invite the muse back in.

5 Comments

  1. Susan
    Jul 27, 2015

    Good for you, Pam. I’ve sort of been in the same mind set lately. I’ve given myself permission to just be me. 🙂 Cheers to us!

  2. kat
    Jul 27, 2015

    Congratulations, Pam!
    I, for one, am so very glad you do write. You tell such a wonderful story.
    Glad you have stopped worrying about your books.

  3. Pam
    Jul 27, 2015

    Thanks so much, Susan and Kat. Your thoughts are greatly appreciated. The funny thing is, it just happened by itself. I think the heart has a way of subtly directing the mind… !

  4. Michelle Ramage
    Jul 27, 2015

    Authors and artists all too often are burdened with the yoke of their readers/patrons. I made the same decision that I would never sell my art for this reason. I create for me, for I am my biggest critic and my biggest fan. When I achieve what I want to my own satisfaction, then I share my art and donate it. What an incredible yoke you have taken off. I think you will find writing to be an extraordinary experience now. Enjoy and be happy for you!

  5. Debi
    Jul 28, 2015

    Pam:

    I admire you for who you are. You have many strengths and truly care about others. When the time is right to write, you will just feel it. I’m a huge fan of of your writing, but you are right Pam, it isn’t always about the sales or the ratings, etc. I’ve enjoyed reading your books so much, as well as I enjoy our friendship. Just let yourself “be” Pam, and when you are ready to continue, you will just “know” because the creative juices that flow through your stories will be front and center. Relax and enjoy your life right now.

    Debi